Mid-Life Crisis Q&A-Jules

This is from Jules:

Dear hearts blessings
I have a major problem my emotional bomb drop was in February 2014 .
I have now lovingly detached from my husband ,worked on myself and started to grow and I’ve emotionally matured ,my husband always comments on how much I’ve changed ,that’s my problem ,I’ve changed so much it’s having a detrimental effect on my daughters .
Daughter # 5 aged 16 says I’ve changed but she’s worried I’ve changed too quickly.
Daughter # 4 aged 25 thinks I’m neglecting my Gchildren due to the fact I’m not seeing them enough and I’m not having them to stay the weekend like I used to do while she went out .
Daughter # 2 aged 30 thinks I’m right to do things but gets annoyed also about her daughter being sidelined .
I had my first child at aged 20 since then I’ve never socialised didn’t have friends, I concentrated on my family and my husband that was one of the reasons he bombed me ,I wouldn’t do anything with him I stayed in while he went out as I was happy to have my g/ children around me .
Please could you advise me on this I feel I’m being blamed for my husbands mlc .
I am so happy with my life right now but I must admit his mlc does seem to have affected me also .

Thank you

Hearts Blessing’s answer:

Hi Jules! ๐Ÿ™‚
It sounds like your daughters have a lot of growing up to do. Your growth isn’t detrimental to your daughters, they’re just trying to guilt you into going back to what you were before..you were easily manipulated before, and now you’ve discovered a new-found freedom that is your right, and they don’t like it.

Through your change they’re being forced to change in order to relate in a different way to their mom. It’s never detrimental when you begin growing up for yourself. It’s not your fault your husband went into MLC…you didn’t break him, so you can’t fix him. However, I see your growth as a positive.
Seems to me your daughters can’t stand it because they can’t control and manipulate you anymore…and they’re concerned, because what you’re doing is affecting them, and it’s supposed to affect them.

They are responsible for their children, and you were not designed to be a constant babysitter for them, and never have a life of your own. You raised your kids, now stayed backed off, and make them take responsibility for their own kids. ๐Ÿ™‚

You have a right to live your own life, and I don’t see a problem here with you at all. The problem I see, are your immature daughters. Keep doing what you’re doing, and in time, they’ll all grow up, right along with you. ๐Ÿ™‚

Hope this helps.


Since 2002, Hearts Blessing has been a pioneer in the area of knowledge and information written about the Mid Life Crisis. The owner and author of https://thestagesandlessonsofmidlife.org she writes articles that help people learn more about this confusing time of life. The main goal of this site is to help people know and understand that no matter what happens, every situation works out to the good of those who love the Lord, and are called according to His purpose. :)
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