This is for all of the wives, who think the midlife affair is all about them, when in reality, it is about the one who has chosen to cross the boundary of faithfulness into adulterous sin. I want you all to know you’re strong, capable, and very special ladies, resting in the Hands of God, who is truly, a wife’s best friend. He is your Provider, Protector, Teacher, and Leader. When you think you are losing anything, remember this one Truth: I.AM.THE.WIFE. (((HUGS)))

You sit there and compare yourself with a fallen woman–what is wrong with YOU??? Seriously, do you really think she has something you don’t? She is nothing to you, she has nothing on you, and you owe her nothing, so get her out of your mind. Your attitude should be that she does NOT matter, because she will never be YOU.

She is a minor player in a major midlife crisis. She has the complete opposite of the man you once knew. She has an undesirable part of this man, that you don’t want right now. She has the selfish, self centered, vindictive, immature, childish, and narcissistic side of this man. SHE has gotten the short end of the stick, you have NOT lost anything.

She does NOT know him like you did and still do. Furthermore, she never will know him like you did before his midlife crisis came forth, and drove him down a road of adulterous sin. HE did this, and bears FULL responsibility for his affair, and the girl in it with him. She is HIS problem, don’t make the Other Woman your problem.

He will regret this fall into carnal temptation, but right now, as he has become different, he has sought someone who is just like him–as selfish, self centered, immature, narcissistic, as he is being at this time. You still think she’s got something you don’t? Believe me, no one on this Earth compares to you, YOU ARE THE WIFE……..listen to me.

Your attitude needs to be thus:

I was not the one who drove him down that road of adulterous sin. This is ALL on him, his responsibility, his problem, his trouble, not mine. I remain Standing in Honor, Integrity, and complete Faithfulness. *I* am the prize, because I have never dishonored myself. I have never committed adultery in my life. I have never abandoned my marriage, or my husband in pursuit of immature selfishness. *I* am the PRIZE, and at this time in my life, *I* am STILL the PRIZE.

I.AM.THE.WIFE. who is everything the Other Women of this Earth are not. They cannot take a page out of my book, walk in my shoes, take over my life, replace me, or follow my living and breathing example, because everything I am, they can never be.

I.AM.THE.WIFE. who holds all of the POWER, that the Other Women of this Earth will NEVER have. They get nothing but crumbs, but I hold the position they envy.

I.AM.THE.WIFE., the mother of his children, the one who has been through hell and back with this man, and I have past emotional and physical history, based in love, with this man, and the Other Woman? She lives in the Darkest Shadows of this World. She can never be openly acknowledged as anything but “The Other Woman” who is the abuser, the user, the one who is controlling, manipulating, grasping, greedy, grubby, tainted, sinful, who wants to be everything I am, but she will never be ME.


I have learned about these kinds of people, and in many ways, I am glad that I am not them. Not from a judgmental standpoint, but from a point of mature growth, that speaks to the fact, that I know that I have more class in my little finger than the Other Woman has in her whole body. She may have him for now, but she will not have him forever, because in time, he will see her for who she really is, as her true colors show him, that she is not ME. I. AM. THE. WIFE. who loves him in a way she could never fathom.

In time to come, there is undying hope that I will be The One making old bones with this man, while the Other Woman dies all alone, with no one there for her. She doesn’t realize that in time, her looks will fade, and outward beauty will be traded for old age, as what comes around, will go around for her.

I. AM. THE. WIFE. who will age in grace, beauty, and love, while she ages in anger, ugliness, and hate.

She will pay harsh consequences for all of the men she has used in her life, to further her own selfish agenda, but in TIME, these men will abandon her, as hearth and home calls them back again, to The One and Only True Love who knows him better than anyone, except God above.

I. AM. THE. WIFE., who will know what to do, who has God to guide me forward, to eventually bring forth accountability in the husband who has strayed from his marriage. This is where God does His best work, and the Other Women of this World, will reap heavy corruption.

I guarantee it, because God does NOT lie about consequences for sin that leads to loss. Everybody directly involved always pays for what they have done, and the Other Woman, will be left in the dust of her own consequences that will lead to her own loss.

I. AM. THE. WIFE. who has it all, while the Other Woman has NOTHING. It’s the truth. ((HUGS))

As a final note, I am sick to death of reading articles that glorify affairs, that glorify The Other Woman, when she is the loser, she is the one who will pay the most in heartache, grief, and sorrow.
If I’m going to spend my time writing, I will spend it dispensing information that is encouraging, needed, and necessary.

There are too many people that are hurting, to write something that puts the other woman in a positive light–when in reality, she lives in the dark side, and there is no glory, or honor in this kind of person. Her behaviors do leave a lot to be desired.

I realize she has just as many, if not more problems than the adulterous midlife spouse, but at the same time, there should always be a certain accountability that shows her to be just as immature, sinful, and dishonorable, as the midlife spouse who gets involved with her.

She deserves the deep misery that comes with the break down of the affair, because what she sows in temporary pleasure, she will reap worse than the anger and pain she has dealt out to so many women who were the wives she envied, but could never be. She needs to grow up, but does not make the effort necessary to achieve the kind of Self growth, other people become able to attain, because she is unable to see herself as other people see her. Her conscience is seared, her eyes are closed to her own part in the adulterous sin that devastates marriages. She has no respect for anyone, not even herself.

The breaking of her own emotional addiction, upon the final split of the affair, will always be more severe, as she is refused multiple times, before she finally decides to stop pestering and harassing the man who was never hers, but had belonged to another by virtue of the Marital Covenant that God joined the couple within.

Though I know the midlife spouse bears full responsibility for his choices to engage in an affair, Satan definitely uses this fallen woman as emotional bait to draw the innocent down a path of destructive sin. This fall into temptation, will destroy both her, and the immature, unwary, undiscerning, and mentally confused midlife spouse who has unwittingly given himself emotional permission to step outside of his marriage, to seek an outside solution that will never resolve an inside problem.

I still hold with the current knowledge that the midlife spouse never means to intentionally go down the road of physical adultery. The midlife spouse is looking for validation of his pain, mirrored in another, seeking emotional connection that leads into comfort. As he seeks to be accepted for who he is, he subconsciously searches, to find someone who is just like him, lacking judgment, and accountability that is found in “normal” relationships.

However, temptation draws him even further into the trap of physical adultery, with sweet nothings, and whispered promises that can never be kept. When this illicit liaison begins, he doesn’t contain the necessary judgment, or mature insight needed, to be able to see the devastating end of this affair. In these early days, he only chooses to see the “good” things, as infatuation blinds his eyes for this time. However, in time, as everything spins out of control, his eyes are opened to himself, and all he is losing, he will wish he had never gotten involved with the other woman, who will bring him to emotional, and spiritual, ruin.

No one can do wrong, and get by with it. God sees, God knows, and vengeance is truly His.

Food for thought.

Since 2002, Hearts Blessing has been a pioneer in the area of knowledge and information written about the Mid Life Crisis. The owner and author of https://thestagesandlessonsofmidlife.org she writes articles that help people learn more about this confusing time of life. The main goal of this site is to help people know and understand that no matter what happens, every situation works out to the good of those who love the Lord, and are called according to His purpose. :)
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