A Midlife Crisis is a Terrible Thing to Waste

If you ask most left behind spouses at the first of this trial, they would tell you that the midlife crisis is a terrible thing to go through. However, if people would eventually learn to see this crisis as a blessing, rather than a curse, an opportunity rather than wasted time, they would learn to emotionally adjust to this process a whole lot more quickly.

I have done a lot of thinking over time about how every marriage has its troubles, its trials, and its problems. You have adjusted each time a loss was experienced, every change that was made, and most of you have even watched your children grow up into adulthood.

Life is filled with change, and all the midlife crisis is, in reality, is just another change, an opportunity to redefine yourself, a time of change, and growth so you can become what God means for you to be in Him.

Survival is ninety percent mental, the other ten percent is emotional adjustment to The Change that seems to be never ending. However, change, that leads into an adjustment, is always required so one can learn to adjust to

a new reality,
a new way to live,
a new way to survive, and thrive, and
a new way to grow and become for yourself.

Everything you do that is intended to help you, is not for the midlife spouse who is destroying everything in sight. They are not using the time they have been given for the purpose of their own growth very wisely, are they? No, they are not—they are actually wasting this time and opportunity they have been given for their own growth.

For each day they do not buckle down, and begin focusing on the inside of their Self for the purpose of growing up, they are getting that much older.

For each day they do not choose to seek the inside answers for an inside problem, their spouses are moving that much farther away from them.

For each day they do not get themselves together, and learn that the best thing they ever had, was standing in front of them along, their losses will continue to increase. It is the midlife spouse who is losing everything that was ever good in their lives, because of their rebellious actions.

For each day, they continue engaging in various running behaviors designed to avoid the problems that cry out to be faced within themselves, they are hurting THEMSELVES that much worse.

While their situation becomes worse, you, as the left behind spouse, can choose to make your situation better. 🙂

For every day you walk this journey for yourself, you, as the left behind spouse are wisely using the time you’ve been given.

For every day you realize that nothing you do, will affect anything the midlife spouse does, is a point in your favor, because you realize that you cannot control anything but yourself.

For every day, you stop yourself from being drawn into their drama, stop allowing their projected frustrations and anger to affect you, is another day of peace lived in your life.

For every day you pray for the midlife spouse, ask God to forgive them, because they know not what they do, and choose not to be negative, angry, and frustrated with their antics, is another day of love and compassion you have learned to exercise for yourself.

For every day you can let go, and let God work on your midlife spouse, is another day, you can spend letting God work on you, because none of us are perfect, none of us did everything right, and none of us are “above” or “below” the midlife spouse. We are who we are, and they are who they are.

For every day we simply accept what is, and what it shall be, is a day when we realize once more, what a great time it is to be alive, as we continue changing, growing and becoming. If you let this process teach you what God wants you to learn, you will grow in ways you never thought possible.

What a midlife crisis means is simply another opportunity for each one of you to achieve what you were otherwise unable to accomplish in the past. It all depends on how you choose to view this time of life. No one can do it for you, no one can see it for you, and no one can define it for you–it’s up to YOU to choose how you are going to define this time of life: An opportunity for greater growth, or a heavy burden to carry and complain about.

Are you going to choose to be bitter, or become better?
Are you going to put your feet upon the road that was meant to transform you into what God means for you to be?
Are you going to choose to understand that what Satan means for your destruction, God will turn it all around for your construction?

In order to reconstruct ourselves on the inside, a deconstruction must first take place on the outside. This will require an emotionally-based trial that will take you through a very necessary process of being broken down, and then being built back up. You do not want to come out of this time of crisis without doing the Self work necessary that will enable you to face the future with the knowing that God is in control of all things, and that no matter what happens, you will be just fine. How do I know these things? I have been there!

So, let us get going! The only thing stopping you, is YOU, so, get your feet on the road toward positive growth for yourself. You will always find someone willing to walk right along with you, and hold your hand. In addition, God will also be there to help you forward on this journey, as you learn that it is quite all right to leave your midlife spouse behind in the emotional winds of change that they have created for themselves.
Why? Because you cannot help them anyway–you can only help yourself. 🙂 A midlife crisis truly IS a terrible thing to waste.
((HUGS))