Life at its best, is a gamble. Life at its worst is a crap-shoot. A mid-life crisis is both a gamble AND a crap-shoot. There are no guarantees given in how this trial will fully resolve, but there is hope as long as there is love within your heart.
No one can predict with any reasonable amount of accuracy how long a mid-life crisis will last. I don’t give you a solid time–I tell you the length of the crisis can run three to five to seven years, if not longer, or shorter. I also tell you that the severity of the crisis depends on the past ISSUES present within each person who WILL face a transitional period. For some people it won’t be that hard to come through, but for others it will end up in a crisis situation.
People who invest in material things will have a much harder transitional time than people who invest in emotional things. Every person’s background, childhood, life is vastly different–what wouldn’t cause issues within one person, will cause issues within another–as each person is different, each mid-life transition/crisis is different, what one will do another won’t, owing to the differences in PEOPLE.
People have tried for years to find that same “magic pill”, “quick formula”, “short cut”, “medical cure”, and NOTHING has worked to bring this transitional period to a close any faster. The only way out is THROUGH, and the only way to come through is to face, resolve and heal ALL issues in FULL…NOTHING ELSE COMES EVEN CLOSE TO WORKING.
Though there are things the left-behind spouse can do to help the mid-life spouse grow, there is nothing they can do to shorten the time their spouse will spend in this trial-although they CAN do things that will lengthen it-but that’s even true of the mid-life spouse. Full resolution on the part of the mid-life spouse is not up to the left-behind spouse, everything hinges on the mid-life spouse.
No one can tell you any differently and be telling the whole truth of the matter.
However, the left-behind spouse is still responsible for their own contributions to the breakdown of their part of their own marriage. These self-contained issues must be worked out to help the left-behind spouse grow for themselves.
While the left-behind spouse is walking their own journey, the mid-life spouse is on their own timetable within what is still their crisis. Let no one tell you they know a definite timetable for any part of the crisis a person will go through, because that’s simply not true. The fact is, if I had been able to attain any of this “short-cut” knowledge, you would already have it in your hands. However, it seems that people must needs to walk down the same dead-end road I walked years ago, and figure out the same things I had to figure out, before I will even be believed.
I have always said that God, who created this time of life, isn’t going to give away any kind of “magic formula” that will allow people to do any less than navigate this in FULL, as individuals. Anyone who tells you otherwise, should be viewed with caution, because there are a lot of charlatans out there who will take your money, and run away with it.
It has really concerned me to see people who prey upon the desperation of people who want their marriages back the way they were, and this will not happen. This is because change has already come to pass, and no amount of money spent for any particular product supposedly designed to “guarantee” a positive outcome is going to change the fact that one must needs to take their individual journey to wholeness and healing.
There is no point in spending money for what you can already get for free in the way of solid information. This same information, which is written into my articles, you will always find for free on my site, or in response to your many questions.
I can tell you from the direct experience of one that has been completely through this, that there are NO guarantees within this trial, and if you spend your money on anything that doesn’t give you a good solid value, you’ll be sadly disappointed. When products that make promises the seller truly cannot deliver, it’s always good to exercise “buyer beware”, because no one can predict on a dime how long the crisis will last, or whether your marriage will survive it.
I do take donations of whatever people choose to give in support of my site, but I don’t directly charge anyone for what I do to help you out here in the open. However, I will not put myself out on a limb by giving a guarantee of what will happen, because I know that when a time of crisis is based on each individual, there is always room for error.
People have free will given by God, and they are in charge of what they choose to do at any given time. If certain things are done at certain times, there is a possibility, but not an absolute, because a whole different aspect, path or detour can be chosen at any time.
Therefore, I do not speak in absolutes–be very wary of people who speak in this way, because what they are doing is trying to get into your purse, or wallet. I feel very sorry for people who fall for these types of schemes.
You might ask why you are encouraged to continue forward in spite of various uncertainties that surround the mid-life crisis. Some of it is based on the past marital history you have had with this person, some of it is based on the love that still does exist within the mid-life spouse, although it is buried deep within their heart. Most of it is based on the love that remains in your own heart, that continues to light the fires of hope that burn brightly.
I remembered times of seeing things that didn’t look right, smell right, nor taste right within my own situation, but God encouraged me to continue my own path forward. What kept me on this same path, even during times of deep emotional unrest, was the fact that I still loved my husband with my whole heart. This same love, continued to feed the fires of hope within my own heart.
I knew ahead of time there were no guarantees, but I had to try anyway, because had I not tried, I would have lived with a lot of regret. It wasn’t “luck” that brought us both his mid-life crisis, I will always tell you it was the Mighty Hand of God that helped guide us through.
However, I still had to walk my own personal journey into wholeness and healing for myself, while I learned to step back and allow him time, space and a chance to work himself out. It all took time, and though I learned a lot during this trial, our marriage eventually came into a time of renewal, rebuilding and reconciliation, because of the choices we both made to go down this road at a later time.
In the end, it always takes two people to create a whole new marital experience fashioned as a result of a transitional period that isn’t always easy. The journey is long and hard, but you do find it’s worth every step to eventually get there.
I give a lot of advice based on Insight, my own experience, and even what my Intuition tells me.
However, the best weapon you have is the knowledge YOU have about your own situation. You know your spouse better than anyone except God, and in spite of the mid-life crisis that is overlaid across your spouse’s personality, you have a much better idea of what they may or may not do, than the best counselor could give you–and I can’t even say I’m that.
The one thing you will NEVER find for as long as I’m writing informative articles, is a solid guarantee that your marriage will weather the mid-life crisis, coming out fully intact. I can offer you hope, love, comfort, information, support, and keep letting you know that in order to come through this crisis for yourself, you would need to learn to change, grow and become for the same. You can do NOTHING for your mid-life spouse, but EVERYTHING for yourself.
Trust your instincts, trust your Intuition, and above all trust yourself, because within each and every one of us, HOPE is alive and well. There are never any guarantees of how this trial will eventually resolve, but as long as you have love in your heart, hope will always abound.
