From “Lovely” via feedback form
HB, so nice to see you have a website… my H I think has entered liminality. It is 20 months since BD. He is wearing the mask but last month was unable to meet D17 for a coffee when she was up in town. Said he wasn’t good company, not strong enough to meet her etc. I’d like to know how he views OW when in liminality. Is she irritating? He seems to no longer being going away on weekends with her. The last time they did she bit him. He is obviously addicted to her – they have terrible fights, once ending up in casualty – but he seems to be spending less time with her
Hello Lovely,
I apologize for taking so long to answer-I had some heavy research to do, that I will cover in short form within the next two paragraphs.
The first thing I’m going to tell you is that your husband has actually been in Liminality all this time, he’s just in a different part of it, that’s all. When you’re reading the Six Stages of a Mid-Life Crisis, you’re reading all about Liminality. 🙂
I did the research, gained a greater understanding in this area, because I once thought, like so many people have been led to believe that Liminality was a stage of and within the midlife crisis, when it is NOT–it is the entire process of the midlife crisis–and it didn’t take me long to figure out what this was. 🙂
Now, with that out of the way, your husband is still in the stage of Replay, but his affair seems to be winding down at the moment. I cannot say how your husband views the other woman at this point, nor can I say what he sees, only that it’s possible that he’s gaining the emotional strength to try and breakdown his affair with her. All you can do is be patient, wait this out, live your life, let him go, let God have him, and last, but not least, focus on yourself. You can’t do anything for him, but you can do everything for yourself.
I hope this helps.
Love,
HB