I wrote this article a couple of years ago. I am “Pro-Marriage.” The way I see it, if a person can pull their marriage out of the fire in any way possible, that is an important part of honoring one’s marriage vows. Written on November 29, 2012
You and your beloved are standing before a minister in the act of getting married. You’re very sure this is what you want, and you’re fairly certain this is also what your beloved wants, but do both of you really know what you are getting yourselves into?
When one takes a vow to do, or, see something through to the very end, it is the same as making a covenant that should not be broken for any reason.
Our marital vows are a series of promises given that should last a lifetime. When these are broken because one spouse has decided to abandon the other, it leaves more than one person angry, heartbroken, and very disillusioned. There is emotional damage that may never be repaired. Worst of all, when there are children involved, these same broken promises leave behind a completely destroyed family in its wake.
Unfortunately, most people go into marriage with a lack of understanding of the vows they have taken, and when the going gets rough, they decide they’ve either married the wrong person, or try to find happiness in “greener grass” before they leave completely.
Marriage is not a state to be gone into, or taken, lightly. It should be entered into with a deep respect, and with full knowledge of the responsibility attached to this honorable state.
When God created the marital state, He meant for people to be married for a lifetime. He also meant for them to learn many aspects and lessons from and through the everyday dealings with each other. Marriage is one state where the partners can lean upon each other in times of greatest need, and it’s a partnership that should be equal in all aspects.
Now, let’s take a look at the vows one usually takes going into marriage:
I, (name), take you (name), to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.
Source: http://weddings.about.com/od/weddingvows/a/traditionalvows.htm
To break it down into layman’s terms, both people are promising to be there, stick with, cling to, and stand with each other forever, no matter what happens in their lives until one leaves the other in physical death.
That’s a tall order to fill because life is full of pitfalls, fraught with danger, and sometimes filled with terror.
People get sick, feelings change, and life throws quite a few unexpected curves from time to time. Money gets tight, temptation darkens the door, stress increases, and one wonders if it’s worth all the trouble.
Mama said there would be days like these.
Yet it takes one with great emotional strength to look past all that could happen, and see what can happen once a particular marital trial has been successfully overcome.
Having been married for a long period of years, I can attest to this, as we’ve seen more than our share of events designed to try and tear us apart over time.
A successful fulfillment of our vows hasn’t been easy. Yet, as each day passes, we renew this choice and continue to keep each promise we made so long ago to stay with each other, help each other, love each other, and simply be with each other.
As we have found over time, because we continue to commit to emotionally invest in our lives together, life is the richer for the ongoing experience.
If you ever think of walking away from your marriage for any reason, take a moment to sit down and remember the Marriage Vows you spoke, and the PROMISES you made before God, man, and your spouse, and ponder on what these really mean to you.