There was once the question of how many layers that would need to be removed or “peeled away” in order to complete the process of any aspect we undertake to better ourselves.
That’s what the Bible means when it speaks of forgiving 70×7 and beyond. These are the layers that come with forgiveness. One may forgive everything, then find out something additional that requires the process of forgiveness again, and so on, until all is forgiven.
There is seldom one single layer to a deed perpetrated against us. There are many aspects within any one wrong deed that needs examining closely before forgiveness is eventually completed.
Within forgiveness, the person who has committed a sin against another actually stands last in line, until all other layers are removed/taken away/peeled off. This leaves the person in a stark reality we knew existed, but never really looked at before. All else has been stripped away by the time we are finished.
Here’s the list:
The actual deed that’s done, and the layers are these, not necessarily in any certain order, and each one doesn’t necessarily contain all these additional layers, but some do:
- Why it was done.
- When it was done.
- Triggers that result from the why and the when.
- The damage done.
- The negative feelings caused.
- Our personal feelings.
- The additional fallout.
- Any additional questions we may need answering.
- The final questions we may not get an answer for.
- Direct consequences we may choose to dish out because of what was done.
So, you see, lots of layers here to work through, and slowly, but surely, we will peel them all away to expose the person who has done these things.
God forgives us all at one time, but that is only because He knows all and everything, and there is nothing He is required to work through. Consequences brought forth through His orchestration of the circumstances are simply saying the same thing as, “You will reap what you have sown.”
Although He forgives us for sin when we ask Him to, our consequences aren’t held back, and they shouldn’t be. If one does a wrong, one must face the consequences and learn the lesson.
In this same aspect, if one sins against a person, and upon asking, they forgive us, we do not have the right to ask them to withhold their personal consequences for sin committed, neither do we have the right to refuse them the help they need in order to be able to heal from the damage we did. Trust and respect destroyed through wrongdoing are two of the many consequences we can face for sins against people and God.
Once you learn to forgive, it is a hard shock to experience the influx of negative personal feelings you still have left to work through. To help with some of these, the wrongdoer would need to answer some hard questions about what they did against you, and some will actually refuse to do anything at first.
You do have some people who think to hit the betrayed spouse with the scripture where it speaks of forgiving with a whole heart and committing not to bring a deed up again. However, for some of you, I can imagine you had times when the midlife spouse would not speak to you after he/she “forgave” you for something you did that was wrong, but it seemed to be OK for him/her to be angry, but not you?
The midlife spouse may not like it, but may start helping you with all of your hurt–after you put some pressure on him/her. During this process, you may see some resentment, anger, unwillingness. You might as well tell the midlife spouse to put their attitude in their pocket because that will not work.
So, sometimes, you can’t let their anger stand in the way. The wrongdoer often uses anger as a bullying technique designed to avoid being faced with something they did that was wrong. Being faced with the truth will often bring forth anger, because they don’t like the mirror that gets thrown up before them, so they are forced to face themselves through the accountability we are often instructed to bring them into as another consequence for a given sin they’ve committed.
This same lesson would apply to the emotionally immature people who sin against others, but refuse to face the truth of the damage they have caused others. It’s like arguing with a brick wall, that won’t give way, and blocks what you are trying to get from a rebellious sinner–mature accountability. However, we must learn to accept that when someone sins against us, that they aren’t hurting us if they don’t face the Truth about themselves, what they’ve done, and refuse to account for themselves. The sinner is only hurting themselves.
Forgiveness that we would work out, based on the layers described above, is still that gift we can give to our own Self, while leaving that sinner in the Hands of God to deal with as He chooses, even as we would still do the work of resolving ourselves, our hurt feelings, and even wounded pride.
To those who think to get away with the sin you commit against others; be aware that you can be forgiven, but God will not forget your treachery. Vengeance truly belongs to Him, and He will repay.
If you don’t like the consequences God has in store for you, then don’t commit the sin. ((HUGS))
Love,
HB