Before I begin, understand that in no way would I make light, make fun of, or even go as far as to disrespect anyone’s spouse in crisis. I take everything within the scope of this pain-filled trial, very seriously, and I do not make jokes at other people’s expense. I practice what I preach, separating the behavior from the person, showing a deep level of love, and care for the person, as I often do find humor in their behavior. It becomes humorous at times, to realize that what they only think they are hiding, is right out there in the open for all the World to see, and if you cannot find some humor in that, then you are not far enough in your spouse’s midlife crisis to learn to laugh at some of their weirdest antics.
It is always good to have a working sense of humor when you are navigating through your spouse’s midlife crisis. There have been many times when I have looked at something either written down, or heard what was said, saw some humor in it, and became quite creative. If you do not have a sense of humor, you will not survive the trip through “Mid Life Crisis Land.” The whole journey itself will bring you down to your knees, if not on your face. It is bad enough people have to go through it, worse if they do not learn to have a sense of humor about some of the crazy things they will see.
I was reading threads on my forum, and came across some posters having some fun with the concept of “Crazy Town” a suburb of “Midlife Crisis Land.” This is where all midlife spouses take up residence, and stubbornly refuse to move. In nearly all cases, the midlife spouse has ‘forced’ the left behind spouse to enter this place when they dropped the emotional bomb on them, abandoning them to find their own way out. Because the bombed spouse was so deeply devastated, it was not unusual for them to also become stuck. As I read the thread, I became inspired, LOL, and I thought I would help them all out by writing an imaginative description of this place called “Crazy Town.”
Question:
Does Crazy Town have a Welcome Sign?
No. It has a “No Trespassing” Sign, and the consequences for being caught entering into this foreign territory is as many weeks, months, and even years in Self-Inflicted Emotional Prison as a left behind spouse is willing to spend, before they finally understand to vacate the premises, and give the midlife spouse time and space to figure themselves out.
This gift of Time and Space, (given to both left behind spouse and midlife spouse) is the ONLY way the midlife spouse might begin the journey out of Crazy Town. For what it’s worth, the “key” to get out of prison, is always hanging by the door of each jail cell. All one has to do is use the key to unlock the door, but no one can do it but the prisoner. Food for thought.
To give you an overview, the whole town is laid out in a completely wrecked and highly irregular pattern, because there is always something or someone that is under construction. At any time, day or night, you can hear never-ending screams of pain, sorrow and rage. Destructive fires of all kinds are always raging, night and day. Confused and angry spew is the norm.
Strangers arriving in town (not by choice, but by forced entry) cannot ask for directions from the typical midlife spouse. The midlife spouse doesn’t even know where they are, or where they are going so, how can they direct others? They cannot, because they, too, are completely lost without a compass of clear direction.
There are no clearly printed maps, except for the Godly Positioning Satellite System, (The Direction of GOD) that one can access via prayer. However, most people don’t think to ask Him for what they need–not at first. Everyone that enters Crazy Town is immediately left behind to find their own way, and walking their own path. In time, and in turn, they must do the same to the midlife spouse, leaving them behind in the hope they will also find their way out.
Just so you know, the Mayor of Crazy Town is actually no one, because there are no leaders in this place. If there were, the Town Council would vote to have any kind of a leader accused, emotionally abused, and removed from office. Why? Because having a leader that provides any kind of reasonable guidance, and/or voice of direction, is perceived as being controlling and manipulating.
According to the Crazy Town Gazette, when the Town Council was asked why they had no Mayor, they replied, with kind of sarcasm expected of all immature half-baked midlife spouses, “We don’t want anyone telling us what to do, when to do it, and how to do it. We are strong, we are independent, and anyone who stands in our way will be moved, pushed, and even shoved to the side and shut down. We do not need any help. We can do this on our own.”
HB’s note on the final two comments:Yeah, right, you’ve done a fine job thus far, your marriages are dead and destroyed, your families are broken, Satan has been driving you down a dead end road of sin all this time, and you can just get along with your big bad Selves.
The streets, roads and avenues, don’t follow any known or familiar traffic patterns. For example, you have Skewed Perception Avenue, and Immature Thinking Street that are narrow, and contain hairpin, (and often hair-raising) curves.
Swiss-Cheese Brain Road, which is the main thoroughfare, runs straight through the middle of Crazy Town. This road crosses Mid Life Crisis Script Bridge (always in need of repair, and you need to cross it with care, because the midlife spouse cannot make up their minds about anything), which stretches out over the River of Emotional Change that always flows fast and furious, and often overflows its banks.
There are no sandbags to put down to prevent flooding, because the midlife spouses who inhabit Crazy Town are unable to work together in a organized manner. Sandbags are a common sense solution, but they would rather sit on their laurels and let the destruction happen, rather than try to fix a problem they caused. What causes the flooding in the first place?
A river dam, intended to hold back the ever-changing emotional problems, was built in a wrong spot on the river. This was a major constructional mistake because when a situation starts whipping up into a major storm, that extra water dumped into the river has nowhere to go, but to spread outward, flooding the area close to the river causing even more damage.
Crazy Town has been flooded numerous times, but the Town Council (made up of midlife spouses, don’t you know, LOL), have always voted to leave it all alone. Why? Because they said, it was too much work and too much added responsibility to repair the damage, and clean up the mess.
Worse than that, every one of those council members has buried their heads in the wet sand the river has carried into town every time those deep floods happen. You know the concept–if you ignore the situation, it did not happen, or if you ignore it all, it will simply go away, leave you alone and no one will ever know what you did. More food for thought.
If you walk down into the underworld of this town, to see what kind of public transportation might be available, you will find the Emotional Hell Subway, which is also in need of repair. Feelings long buried, but never forgotten, fragments that are recognized as the children of the midlife spouse’s issues and clearly stunted and stopped emotional development that often battles against further maturation, are the bulk of Emotional Hell’s passengers.
The windows are always smudged with nose prints, fingerprints, which look suspiciously childlike. Mental and Emotional Fog overlays everything, making this already dark and mysterious place even harder to see, and most difficult to understand.
Coming into this particular place in search of answers, is not the same as finding your way out into a solution that will work–just so you know. It requires determination, dedication, prayer, trust, belief, and a knowing that regardless of what might and will happen, you’re going to be all right. Only God can give you what you need, right when you need it.
One thing you can be sure of, when you are not sure of anything else–God will most certainly be there when no one will be, nor can be. So, take the time, and make the time, to grab on to the Hem of His Garment, and let Him lead you through, and out of this place called Crazy Town. ((HUGS))
