No matter what you do, what you say, how “special” you think you are, or how entitled you might act, the mid-life crisis will continue going forward, and it will resolve in God’s Time. You know from reading the past articles, and past researching, the crisis is triggered by the issues within the person going through.
There is no way over, under, or around the mid-life transition/mid-life crisis. The only way out is through, and what a journey it becomes, as you learn to effectively use the gift of time. This same gift, designed to be used wisely, will allow you to have the clear opportunity to grow, change and become what God means for you to become, because of this trial.
However, this particular attitude adjustment does not start out that way for everybody. We all rebel at the beginning. We hate change because we do not understand it. In addition to our inability to understand, we have not learned the true importance of the changes that will eventually transform us, if we let time do its necessary work in our lives, and within our emotional outlook.
In the early days, you look at the ones who have traveled this way before, listen to the wise advice (that usually turns out to be right), and think, “What do they know? I’m different, my situation is different, and they don’t know what they’re talking about.”
However, we who are so far ahead, and seemingly out of reach, really do know whereof we speak. Our feelings were not any different when we were walking in these same shoes so long ago. It is part of the Insight we developed from our own experience and quite a few of the experiences of others.
Incidentally, if I had not taken the time to explain the mid-life crisis, and the life’s lessons we are all guided into learning, in plain English back in 2002, (all with the help of the Lord, who closely guided my words), people might not know any more now, than they did back then.
Most of the explanations that I read early on, I understood, but the writing was not clear enough for other people to gain a true understanding of what the writer was trying to convey. That was not the fault of the writer at hand. Not everyone has the ability to communicate in a clear fashion using the written word.
There were other concepts I introduced all those years ago that were used as a springboard into other aspects of learning. Unfortunately, even in this day and time, there are still some people who lack the kind of understanding the Lord so bountifully granted to me. Those who begin arguing, and refuse to listen, I have learned to let go, with the knowledge that I can continue explaining in various ways from my own platform of God-Assisted Authority, in the hopes I will, in time, be understood.
Reaching true comprehension and understanding does not come at the same time. Each person is different in when and how the basic concepts, within the Journey to Wholeness and Healing, will be grasped. In comparison, you do not feed a newborn baby solid food on the first day of birth. Solid food comes later, once their system is ready to receive it. It is the same with understanding the mid-life crisis. Sometimes, understanding comes more clearly, after various mistakes, which run counter to the wise advice given, have already been made.
People are warned of what will happen if they do certain things in a “normal” way during what is not a normal situation. Unfortunately, in an effort to prove the wiser ones wrong, and, to test the so-called “theory” we seem to have “made up”(their perception), they will do whatever they want, regardless. They will eventually find out for themselves that we really did know what we were talking about. Sometimes, multiple mistakes are made, and learned from, to help bring forth a particular aspect of learning.
However, it is not until what seem to be a billion, zillion mistakes made, that people may finally realize some things and begin to understand what they need to do. Therefore, they begin to walk faster in order to catch up with us who are moving away with the ones who are already “getting it.”
We all walk this journey together. Some are ahead, some are behind, and some are right in the middle. In the past, I would find myself writing back and forth, as I would write on one aspect for one person, coming alongside them in the place they were in. Then, in minutes, I would be writing on a completely different aspect for yet, another person that is ahead, or behind. In each case, I would be coming alongside each one and relating to the exact place each one was moving through.
In that process, I had always tried to show hope, support, understanding, love, acceptance, and kept giving encouragement. I always prayed for the necessary wisdom needed to help each one that God has sent my way. I gave from my heart, then, and now, so I can watch you blossom, grow, develop, and yes, change, and eventually become what God means for you to be.
I never see what I do as wasted time. This is the work I was given to do, and do it to the best of my ability. I understand the place that every one of you is in, because I was once there, too. Different aspect/situation, but the same mid-life crisis.
I have often said there needed to be those who walked before that would often need to “hand-hold” those starting out. My attitude comes from a time when I, too, was in this same place of learning. By my own admission, I was hardheaded and stubborn. I thought I knew it all, and knew absolutely nothing. I have never forgotten how hard it was for me to understand. If the Lord had not kept people coming my way, I would never have reached this eventual place.
The people who were trying so hard to help me were reaching out to grab my hand, so they could “tow” me along without letting me drown them in that same process. One aspect was sure, the more I rebelled, the worse the situation became for me. If not for the deep patience and long-suffering of these same people who could have given up and left me behind, I would not be sitting here now.
As I recall, it was as if these same people knew me better than I knew myself. More importantly, they did not expect me to grasp these pieces of advice they were giving all at one time. They knew then, just like I know now, it all takes time to get it all together, and God bless them, they walked with me, and often prayed for me.
I know from direct experience that it’s one thing to be firmly nudging people forward into greater knowledge and understanding, quite another to unreasonably expect a literal “baby” in this crisis to walk before they can crawl and in the beginning, there is some helplessness to be expected.
I encourage all of you who are early in this, to listen to the wise counsel given to you; this may be the only lifeline you will have available to you. Use it wisely, so you can pull yourself out of the emotional rut you may have fallen into at this time.
For those of us who are ahead, may we all never forget the early emotional places we were once in. Most especially, when we see others who are coming into this crisis and walking behind us. Within our remembered past experience, we can help the people on the path behind us, and even encourage the people ahead of us. We are all in this together, and God is walking with us, as He said He would be.
Food for thought.
BIG HUGS!!
Love,
HB
